Day 4 - Meet Jacob :)

Day 4

Meet my plant Jacob! I have been growing Jacob ever since February I believe. He started out as a little seedling that I received on a Christmas card from Kim. Jacob just had a growth spurt, and I hope he continues to keep on growing! I never thought I would grow a plant from a seedling, let alone fall in love with it like it's my own child! lol :) 

Day 3 - Bubble Tea

One of my other favorites place in Carbondale is QQ Bubble Tea. I have been going to this Japanese beverage shop since my freshman year and still have yet to try every drink. However, I have branched out and tried the hot milk tea, the red tea and their fruit slushies. Totally yummy! :) The unique thing about QQ Bubble Tea however is that they have drawings up on the walls from all of their customers that have visited the store since they have opened. I had yet to draw a picture until yesterday and this is documentation my drawing! No, I am not an artist lol. But i felt like I have to leave my mark at my favorite beverage shop in Carbondale! :)

Day 3

Day 2 - A Dilemma

Today I am questioning myself. And honestly it might be for a silly reason, but maybe some people who read my blog will get where I'm coming from. So my day started off at my internship, my client didn't show up so I got to leave early. No biggie. Well i decided that I would stop at wal-mart and pick up some cold medicine because I haven't been feeling. Yes, i'll get to the point in just a moment. After walmart, I came back to my apartment building, parked my car and popped open the trunk before finally getting out. I noticed two men walking through the parking lot and I had a gut feeling that one of them would say something to me. Sure enough, one of the men stopped.

"Ma'am, can I ask you a question?" He asked me.

"Sure" I say.

"Do you have 75 cents I can borrow?" And this is where the dilemma begins. When I was at walmart I had just taken out $20 and sure I did only have the $20 bill on me. But I knew I had 75 cents upstairs in my apartment. After these thoughts race through my mind, I say:

"No I'm sorry, I don't have any money on me." And the man thanked me and walked away.

So I walked up the two flights of stairs to my apartment with this exact thought process: what if the man really NEEDED that 75 cents? He didn't look THAT poor. But what if really didn't have a place to stay or just needed some food to eat? What if I had made him wait so I could get the 75 cents from my apartment? Would he have followed me? That could've been dangerous. What would've he have done with the money if i had given him the 75 cents? And etc etc etc.

I know this happens to people a lot, but for some reason this really affected me. First, I think it affected me the most because of my social work mindset. I instantly felt bad for not helping one person and I instantly wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. I didn't want to believe the stereotypical, he'll probably just end up buying alcohol/drugs with the little money i would have give him. The second reason why I think it affected me so much is because as a M.S.W. student,  who am I to judge if someone is poor enough to give money too? Through out my whole academic career as a social work student, I have been taught not to pass judgment upon someone. And here I am, passing judgment in an instantaneous manner. It feels like I haven't learned anything from my social work experience and education. The last reason as to why I think this has affected me so much is why was I fearful of such a nice person? Was it because he was a man? Was it because he was a stranger? My mom always told me that when she was a little girl, there was no reason to be afraid of the people around you. Everyone in the neighborhood knew everyone else and protected one another, what has happened to our society to change that thought process?

Instead of blabbering on (since I know I can since this single event has affected me in an interesting way), it'd be interesting to know what you would've done in this situation? Am i being silly with these thoughts or would you have thought the same thing?

And finally, here's my picture for the day -

Day 2

Day 1 of the 365 Day Photo Challenge

Day 1

Yes, I have managed to get sucked into the 365 day photo challenge thanks to Dorian and Kim. But mainly, I figured why not document the important and sentimental (to me of course!) parts of Carbondale while I still have the time?

This bridge is located in the Japanese garden which is on the SIUC campus. This bridge (and the whole garden) has meant so much to me over these past five years. The first time I was brought to the garden was by Kim my freshman year. After I was introduced to this place, I wrote stories between classes while sitting on one of the benches and just came to this beautiful place when I needed to think.

Then Sophomore year came. This was the year that I got to introduce the garden to the people who would mold my college years into the most special days of my life. I brought my boy friend here when we were just starting to become friends and I remember just sitting on one of the benches in the garden for hours, talking and just being ourselves. I believe this garden was what honestly brought us together (and of course my cuteness ;)) Also, during this year, my friends and I had a photo shoot all over campus for my birthday. We (minus Kim since she was taking the picture) all took a picture on this bridge and to me that picture is one I will honestly cherish forever.

Since those days, my boyfriend and I have visited this garden as much as possible and it's still one of the places that I go to today just to think. This bridge and the garden have helped me become the person I am today. And as I move on in life, I hope that others will be able to create just as many memories as I have in this garden.

Oh my goodness...

I just realized it's been about a month and a day since I last blogged. Geez so what has happened during this time you ask?

1.) I turned 23 and had an amazing birthday party with all of my awesome friends <3
2.) I've gotten called back for 2 interviews (but considering i've applied to over 100 jobs, I would like a few more!)
3.) I have been super busy with quitting McDonalds, starting work at the Vine, my internship and classes. Oh, and just having a bit of a social life somewhere in there.
4.) I went to the IRHA conference, networked with a ton of people and my poster presentation won 3rd place <3 

So lately, my biggest worry has been graduation and finding a job. It's beyond weird to me to think that I won't be coming back to school in the fall and that my academic career is finally over. It's time to become a big girl and that's super scary for me. Not to mention, I have no idea where I'll be within the next 3 months. So i decided to look up some tips on anxiety (now the trick is just for me to follow these helpful tips!)

1. If you are prone to anxiety you have two choices. Give in to it or learn to live with it. Giving into it also means that your partner will suffer the burden of your fears so, to make your lives a better place to be, find ways to eliminate or at least limit this feeling by taking responsibility for your emotions and knowing you have a choice.

2. When you wake up tomorrow start doing something right away, and keep busy all day. Taking action by doing something, almost anything, will help you work through your anxiety. Sometimes it's doing the dishes or working in your garden. Other times it's reading or meditating. Just sitting around and thinking about your worries won’t make them go away. 

3. Focus your attention on where the feeling of anxiousness is in your body and keep your attention there until the feeling moves or dissolves. For example the tension could be in your abdomen or your neck. Whenever your attention wanders, bring it back to the place in your body where the physical feeling is. Doing this for five or ten minutes can reduce, if not eliminate, the anxiety.

4. Anxiety will grow if it’s not directed into some positive action. Find someone who needs you and lend him or her a helping hand. It will almost always take your mind off your problems and fears. Helping others is actually a way of taking action and responsibility for your own healing.

5. Talking to someone is one of the best ways to overcome your anxiety. Getting together with your family and friends, even your fellow patrons at Starbucks, and talking about what you are feeling can be helpful. If you can't talk to someone, try writing a letter or visiting an appropriate Internet chat room.

6. Exercise is another good way to keep from letting your fears overwhelm you. Sometimes gentle forms of exercise like walking and yoga can be better than a hard workout at the gym. Do what works best for you at the moment and don’t worry about breaking your normal routine, that change may actually help reduce your anxiety.

7. Start a gratitude journal; write down three to five things that you are grateful for. Do this every night, it works and it’s very easy. Become aware of all the good that surrounds you. You can also have a releasing journal where you write about your anxiety and the actions that you can take to overcome those fears.

8. The opposite of fear is faith. When you are anxious, a great way to get out of it is to find some faith. Believing that things will get better is sometimes all it takes to make it better. It also helps to never underestimate the power of positive prayer or visualization, if it can cure cancer it can also reduce your anxiety.

9. If watching the news fills you with anxiety - turn off the TV! The world will continue to revolve even if you’re not watching it on CNN. Limit yourself to one hour a day of news and don’t watch anything that may upset you before you go to bed.

10. Courage is not the absence of fear, but taking action in spite of fear. Doing something new or confronting a fear by taking some baby steps is much more positive than doing nothing. If you need a better reason pick an action that will be helpful to someone else.

If you find that none of the tips above work, then you should take a serious look and consulting with a qualified therapist and physician and asking about medication. Choose to take control of your life and your emotions and don't let them run you or your relationship.(http://www.emotionalfitness.net/articles/10anxiety.html)